Sunday, March 21, 2010

Relationship & Infidelity Rant

The prospect of marriage is not only out the window but if recent celebrity break ups are any indicator it’s probably dead. Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James cheated on her. Tiger Woods cheated on his wife – numerous times. Sam Mendes tells Kate Winslet that one relationship isn’t enough for him and there are a number of other high profile break ups. Not to mention most of the women these men are seeing are far less attractive and much less successful than their current wives and girlfriends. Hello, when you’re looking to trade in, you should try trading up instead of down. There are so many people that I know whose marriages have failed or one or both spouses are currently having affairs. It causes one to wonder if monogamy died right along with chivalry.


I know plenty of men and woman who profess to be Christians and who made vows “till death do us part”. I have to wonder if that death referred to emotional death and not physical. Others will say if you aren’t happy then just leave. I have a problem with people not keeping their commitments. My grandparents were married for well over 40 years and while I’m sure it wasn’t always a walk in the park I’m convinced they were deeply in love with each other until their dying days. Were there ups and downs? Of course there were but you worked through it, you talked your problems out, and sometimes that talking would become yelling but you faced the problems – together. The husband didn’t run to another woman and the women didn’t run to another man. I’m not so jaded to believe that talking problems out will prevent infidelity but I know that open dialogue in any situation is more productive than not saying anything at all.

When people get married they should be marrying someone they love, feel they can live with and unfortunately die with. Too many relationships are built on lust instead of love nowadays. I know so many people that cheat and are cheated on and I wonder what leads to this and what if anything is gained by it. Sure, there’s the whole thrill factor but doesn’t that get old? One of my friends had an affair with a married coworker for over 3 years and bore him 2 children. His wife also had 2 children while he was having an affair. This guy had 4 kids in 2 years; his first child was born to my friend - his mistress. During the entire relationship he swore he never loved his wife, he planned on leaving her and constantly told my friend she was the love of his life. Now, over 3 years later he’s still with his wife and hasn’t spoken to my friend since May 2009, my friend gave birth to his 2nd daughter on December 31, 2009 and the guy’s wife gave birth to another daughter on March 4, 2010. Looking back on all of this I wonder what he was thinking? Was it a thrill, did he ever love my friend and more importantly did he ever love his wife?

One of my married friends and I were talking the other day over lunch about relationships and cheating spouses and she told me how glad she was to be married and didn’t know what she would do if she were single and dating right now because the prospects are so poor. I told her I was glad to be single because if I were married to some of my friend’s husbands I would have probably cut the guys throat or slit my own wrists.

I read a tweet the other day about how hard it is to date in today’s world and I’m starting to wonder if it’s harder to stay married than it is to date. So to all those married people feeling sorry for us single girls, keep your sympathy and take a good look at your own relationship cause the single girls are doing just fine and some of them are doing just fine with your husbands.
How many marriages end in divorce today? How many spouses have cheated or are contemplating it? This is a real issue and if it weren’t shows like Cheaters wouldn’t have so many viewers. Each time I turn on the TV or look at a news site I’m bombarded with facts, figures and articles on infidelity from everyday folks to politicians. It’s truly sickening. So here’s to being single for the rest of my life and being happy with someone who’ll love me forever – ME!

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